A bunch of absurd or sarcastic quotes and replies from various sites. Warning! This page contains mostly nonsense, and furthermore, the bottom half of the page is in Swedish.
Stop copying others
How We Could Build a Moon Base TODAY – Space Colonization 1 (youtube.com)
The most popular password in 2020 is 123456
Context: Should we clap when a plane lands, to appreciate the difficult job of the pilots?
Most commercial aircraft can land completely automatically at many airports. Now, the pilots generally do land manually, but this is something that when everything goes well (99.999% of the time), a child could do.
For some reason I'm confused about what day of the week it is. I need to keep reminding myself that it's Thursday.
Unfortunately people tend to ignore the harsh reality. I've met a lot of people who dream about moving to Japan just because they've watched Japanese anime and think they understand the country/culture. What's ironic is that they want to go to Japan to escape loneliness, but once they're actually there it's even more lonely
Honestly I think I could live happily without the internet for a while. A year at least I think.
Hedgehog awareness week!
Context: Discussion about selfies
Context: Someone is criticized for liking one tv show more than another
Are we not allowed to have different opinions?
Look, Hitler had a different opinion, and then he started WWII. We just can't take the risk of that happening again.
That is the most atrocious straw man argument I’ve ever heard…
What is one thing you still do even though you're not poor anymore?
Check my bank account 800 times a day. Eat frozen garbage.
Context: Discussion about future smartphone innovations
How about, instead of having a screen on the front side of the phone, we put it on the back of the phone instead? And move the best camera to the front. It will be exactly the opposite of today's phones. I think it could be a hit.
Can't tell if sarcasm, but wouldn't that just be the same as turning your phone around and pretending that's the front?
Context: Gun rights vs gun control
As an extreme gun rights advocate, I think guns should have the right to vote. Also, they should be freed from their servitude; it's a disgrace that humans can own them at all.
Deer kill more Americans a year than any other animal, and it's not even close. Granted, most of that is from traffic collisions, but still.
I think it's 60% traffic collisions, 30% deer poisoning people's coffee with arsenic, and 10% arson.
How can a deer poison someone coffee with arsenic ? ( Real question, we don't have deer where I live)
Context: "Pizzas are eaten from the inside out"
I have nearly always eaten pizzas from the outside in, with a knife and fork.
As a New Yorker, I have this strange urge to stab you.
The picture clearly shows that it doesn't matter how much you exercise – scientists will find a way to catch you and cut your legs into thin slices!
I thought about cutting out the letters p-o-l-i-c-e and c-h-i-c-a-g-o and b-r-a-n-d-o-n (the friend) and making him unscramble them... but that could take a while and be frustrating for him.
Also, he could have ended up with "Accordion-phobic Angel" , "Carcinogenic Bald Pooh", or "Heroic Cannibal Cop Dog".
39% of the world's population is overweight and that number is only getting bigger
I'm no "photographer" but I did take pride in getting good portraits of friends. To which I would always hear "wow your camera takes great pictures!" Anyway my friend and his wife decide to get a DSLR so they can take great photos like me. After week one I get a pleasant call, "ok the camera isn't all there is to it."
That's a great comment, what keyboard do you use?
I like that European bumblebees actually look like bumblebees.
I don't know about that, Swedish poodles are so tiny that tens of thousands fit into a single poodlehive.
I live with 4 women aging from 12 to 70 I can take a solid guess on the before and after.
Plot twist: It's just one woman, but you think it's four due to varying amounts of makeup.
I can't find the clip. Do you have a link?
As a taxpayer, I'm not going to give you the link.
Brits drive on the wrong side of the road.
I don't know how they do it. In Sweden we all drive on the top side and it's the only side that makes sense to me.
I convinced my friend this one for no good reason at all: They are called buzzards in the air, and vultures once they've landed.
As we know, space rocks are called meteoroids while they're in space, meteors within the Earth's atmosphere, and meteorites once they've landed. This suggests that buzzards have a third name for when they're hurtling through space.
Context: Discussion about annoying movie tropes
It's common in real life that people don't communicate with even basic information that might help resolve a situation or avoid interpersonal conflict.
I have lots of excellent evidence that people never fail to provide relevant information, but I'm not going to give it to you.
Context: Discussion about scientific best practices
I once drew a conclusion from a sample size of one, and that worked, so it should work most of the time.
Catching Fire made $150 million, Mockingjay Part 1 made $120 million, and Part 2 made $100 million. Any reasonable person would think of that as a pretty significant dropoff.
I think I speak for all unreasonable people when I say that we actually see it as a mild increase. It's so typical of you to only appeal to the opinions of reasonable people, as if we others don't count. There are many of us and you can't ignore us forever.
Context: Discussion about the board game Horseless Carriage
Why a horseless carriage, in particular? You couldn't fit any large animal on there.
It feels to me that, for completeness, the title of the game should list all animals not featured in the game.
A coworker: "Don't you think you are being a bit inconsiderate, being so tall?"
I still don't know what they were trying to say
Don't be hogging all the height, asshole
Det snöar ute.
Sammanhang: Diskussion med kristen evolutionsmotståndare
Vet du att anledningen till att evolutionsteorin accepterades inte var för att den var vetenskapligt bevisad.....utan för att man med den kunde rättfärdiga slavhandeln...
Jag betalar hundra kronor mer ifall jag får chokladen och kanelisarna som Malin vill ha! (Var det så du menade?)
Jag har alltid sagt Bob, men enligt kartan borde jag tydligen kalla honom Snowracer Dylan.
Jag kan tänka mig att rita en för 600 miljoner miljarder kronor.
En sak man ofta glömmer när man pratar om låtsaskrig är att det ibland är med helt påhittade låtsasbarn i dem och för dem är det på allvar. Om man inte existerar så är ett skott med en låtsaspistol något av det allvarligaste som kan hända en. Debatten fokuserar ofta mycket snävt på barn som faktiskt existerar.
Okej då! Autism är en utvecklingsrelaterad funktionsnedsättning som kan göra att folk tar andras uttalanden alldeles för bokstavligt.
Jag har demonstrerat lite sådär försynt här hemma i lägenheten. Jag är så himla himla blyg, jag skulle aldrig våga göra det ute bland folk.
Jag demonstrerande för/mot narkotika.
vet du hur du jobbar nästa fredag förresten?
Jag kommer jobba vilt och otyglat, men ändå med ett slags bitter melankoli.
grattis till din papap
Det där är precis vad myndigheterna vill att vi ska tro. Alla vetenskapsmän är lejda lakejer och wikipedia är hackad.
Wikipedia är inte hackad! De har jättehög säkerhet och jag är så trött på hysteriska konspirationsteoretiker som får det att låta som om vem som helst skulle kunna gå in på Wikipedia och skriva något.
Solen lyser och jag är ledig idag! Läser pocketbok ute på altanten. :)